I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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