Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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