The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
