she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize