At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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