The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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