The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
