matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You can't motorboat a personality
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
