Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
