the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
