I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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