Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
In America we eat man semen.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
