you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
