My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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