i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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