I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
