Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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