Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
