im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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