some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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