wanna go halves on a baby?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much