those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
