Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
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If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
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We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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