I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
