Please, let me fuck your mom
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
