Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
