Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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