He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
