we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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