The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
