quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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