so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
