I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
