my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize