do herpes really smell.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
