Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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