Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
