clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize