im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
