i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
