someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just high enough for therapy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
