I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
