Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
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I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
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I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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