Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize