And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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