Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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