I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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