I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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