Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
