dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
