My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
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do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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