It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
