what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
