i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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