My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
