More tranny stories later!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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