Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he thought i was a dude.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
